by Lauren_Land » Sun Mar 28, 2021 5:59 am
This isn’t a “got caught in public jerking story” but it is one of the few times in my life I had to call an emergency wank session when I was way out in the middle of nowhere. A few years ago I had to drive from Portland, Oregon to Los Angeles, CA, stopping only for gas.
It’s a 1,000 mile trip.
About 6 hours into the trip, (somewhere north of Redding, California), I started to get horny as fuck. Like REALLY horny. Far more than usual. So I did what any good Christian would....Not wanting to lose any time, I shifted the rented Toyota a few degrees to the right for an emergency wank session in the emergency lane.
You cannot IMAGINE how difficult it is to polish the one-eyed gopher snake when you’re parked on the side of one of the busiest interstates in the nation the day before Labor Day. Every 3 seconds the thin and flimsy Toyota was buffeted by a huge blasts of turbulence courtesy of every goddamn 18-wheeler truck known to man. At least it felt that way. And they were all blasting by at 80-plus miles an hour.
I thought about aborting the mission but decided to spray anyways.
By truck and turbulence incident #100 (estimated) I still hadn’t blown my load and I started having visions of some sleep - deprived Mac Truck trucker nodding off, drifting into the emergency lane at 80-plus
mph. If that happens, my Toyota would basically liquefy as would I. That thought killed the boner right then and there. So not wanting to tell my wife I was going to miss another anniversary, I terminated the jerk session and got back on the road as fast as I could. All that hassle and I didn’t even get to splat the ceiling!
That’s OK… I got to live… So that’s pretty good trade off.
Thanks for listening.
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